The Homecoming…

The hot, stifling air. A far-reaching, almost eerie silence. Sky, brilliantly blue; generously dotted with billowy “mashed potato” clouds. Replicas and visions from younger, happier days.

All of these had remained. Helping to sustain him through the long, lost days. He had known only to well, the many faces of hunger and thirst. The nights, hardest of all to bear.

He stood slightly stooped, his back to the sun. Sweat clinging the coarse denim shirt against his gaunt, slender frame. In spite of the relentless heat he felt a chill deep inside. Cold to the bone. No clothing or blanket would warm that space; his needy soul and tattered heart.

The long, shining gold and maroon train, once again picking up speed. He watched it’s departure with mixed emotions. Waving a farewell to no one in particular. Passengers peering out of the now dusty windows; grateful to be moving again. Leaving behind the flat, unforgiving Prairies as the Transcontinental continued on it’s regular run, due West.

Faded brown-striped grip in one hand, the heirloom 12 string in the other. The latter, his only treasured possession. Handmade so many years ago. Lovingly polished and preserved. Miraculously unscathed in spite of life’s bumps along the way.

Too many miles; too many alone. Late nights and bar fights. Cheap booze, poker games and words gone awry. County jails and letters, never mailed.

Familiarity: once shunned, often despised, now craved. The old room. The same old stories. How they would make for a welcome, much-overdue change.

He trudged the last five long miles along the well-worn path. Almost as worn as his one pair of shoes. There would be shade trees so high and cool clear water, back on the farm. The now “old” dog announcing his arrival, long before he would tap on the frame of the carved screen door.  A warm welcome; wan smile? Her older but still beautiful face to greet him and hold him close? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Only to rest awhile. Not to look over his shoulder or “watch his back”. To slowly unclench his rough calloused hands. To sleep as if a young boy again, under the sun-dried handmade quilt; laid upon his single bed.

The green grass and greener pastures still to be found. But not now. Not for a while.

Coming home….

His bronze face relaxed. Looking up, he breathed deeply. The rays of sun reflected a smile.

“The Homecoming” © 2008 Geraldine H. Hartman 

 Photo courtesy of: Flickr

Written for the August 17th  OSI prompt: homecoming

30 Responses to this post.

  1. Hi Geraldiine, this is sooooo good. To me it is “The Prodical” from the prodical’s point of view. Thank you.
    ..

  2. Excellent Piece! It really captures the need to get home after a hard days -or journey’s work.
    Thank you for sharing it.

  3. A very good piece. I liked his point of view!

    Thanks!

  4. Excellent! Geraldine, this is so poignant. Those last few steps always seem the longest.

  5. I strongly identify with trains and your photo hooked me even before I read the knowing words. In my earlier days, during one year of much indecision, I traveled across Canada by train three times. . This is a universal story but it also reads ‘maritimer’ to me. A train whistle creates a homecoming of memories. This is a lovely read.

  6. Coming home, the search for home are so much a part of what life really is. Often we suffer that ‘grass is greener’ syndrome and malign the things which define us. Then we find how much we miss them when we leave them behind. Your piece articulated that feeling so well. Loved the train tracks!

  7. I love the guitar! He keeps yet the means to make music of life. How beautiful, Ger. The contrast in places–the open West and home–made me want to climb back into bed and enjoy the coziness of my quilt!

  8. Familiarity: once shunned, often despised, now craved.

    i think this phrase frames the whole story… very well done…..

  9. An excellent story, Geraldine! Very nicely done!

  10. Hi Jim, I also had the “prodigal son” in mind, as I wrote this piece. Glad you enjoyed the read.

    Hi Edward, Glad you liked my story Edward. I loved this word as a prompt, I was so glad that OSI used my suggestion.

    Hi Gautami, I like to ’stretch’ a bit when writing and see things from another person’s perspective, including a man’s thoughts. Hope I captured the emotions as I had hoped to convey.

    Hi Barb, Especially when we are unsure of being welcome or not!

    Hi Ann, I’ve made the Transcontinental trip on the train, many many times. I also worked for ViaRail many years ago and our family has a strong tie to railways, as I’ve written about previously. Aren’t trains wonderful? I love this mode of transportation. I hope it always remains.

    Hi Selma, The Canadian Prairies (at least to me) are a harsh and barren landscape. Although I was born there, I never felt a part of the land.

    I wanted to convey that feeling of the scenery being a part of this man’s feelings about coming back home. I guess it doesn’t really matter where home is as long as your heart follows along.

    Hi Sandy, We all have our treasured possessions don’t we? The one or two things we would grab in a fire and protect at all costs. This guitar is indeed the treasured possession in this man’s rather austere life.

    Hi Paisley, It does sum things up quite well, doesn’t it?

    Hi Mary, Thanks Mary. Glad you enjoyed using this prompt too.

    Thanks to OSI for featuring my prompt suggestion this week, I am truly honored to be a part of this great group of writers/participants. And for all my visitors to MPP thanks so much too. Love to read your comments, G

  11. you described well the mood, the feeling of coming back to a familiar place and yet he watches the train as if he wants to get back on, I love the last line – The rays of sun reflected a smile

  12. Haunting…moving…

  13. Geraldine,

    This piece held my heart in a very strong grip ~ I was holding back my tears, swallow the lump in my throat as I read each word, each line; well constructed to form the moving emotions behind the well painted imagery in words.

    I particularly liked the style applied here using short sentences to perfectly express the inner tension of the character. That style made this piece very very effective and moving: it serves to let the reader become the character in a certain cohesion. Everyone of us in one way or the other walk that familiar roads of coming home. I think that explains the cohesion, but more than that it’s the impeccable details of the backdrop you put into this. I am in that place at that moment, I feel all the emotions, too.

    And when the rays of the sun reflected a smile, it caught the tears I held in the corners of my eyes and then I let it go like liquid pearls that washed my heart clean ~ it always feel good to get a good cry.

    Thank you.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

    I like the contrasts painted in the mind of what has been and what is now using the minute details in the

  14. Wonderfully written – you are so talented! I’m so happy you stopped by my blog earlier and left a link here, what a delightful, unexpected treat it has been :) ! You had visited my personal/family blog, but I also have a scrapbooking blog ~ http://www.scrapbookideas.wordpress.com, where I posted a page today about the return of a prodigal in my own life, so this is especially meaningful to me right now!

  15. Thank you for the prompt at OSI this week.

    The story is so sad, but I’m glad he went home . . .

  16. The “needy soul” and “tattered heart” kept ringing right through to the very last words!

    A dramatic, beautiful, moving piece of writing!

  17. Lovely. I like the way the sense of redemption and relief at the end as the loneliness seems to drop away the closer he moves to home.

  18. Thanks for this great prompt, and for sharing your own response to it. Resting from always having to be on the alert, always having to look over your shoulder, must be such a relief!

  19. Hi Lissa, I wanted to end on a happy note; glad that it worked!

    Hi Sallee, Thanks friend!

    Hi Jeques, What would I do without your insightful comments Jeques. So helpful for me to see how my work is being interpreted. When it’s as I had hoped it would be, I consider it such a success. Of course at times we write something that only for ourselves or a small group of people, it rings true. But it is so inspiring to know that I have done what I set out to do; via detailed comments such as yours. Most appreciated.

    Hi Jess, Welcome and thank you. Ill be sure to stop in soon.

    Hi Joyce, Glad you enjoyed the prompt and my story too!

    Hi Gemma, I actually added those two phrases on my last edit, just when I was posting. Do you all do that, editing over and over…little details and single words? I rather enjoy the process of tweaking. ;)

    Hi Raven, Thanks so much. Again, something I was trying to convey.

    Hi Lirone, Welcome to MPP. Love your name! Glad you enjoyed the prompt I suggested and I agree, this would be a very tiring way to live. Many people do though.

    Hugs to all of you and thanks so much for your comments, G :)

  20. Wonderful! I really enjoyed this, and hated for it to end. I hope he got a loving welcome.

  21. hello g, you’ve written a magnificent train story, filled w/so much life.. it leaves me breathless… this is what writing is all about… creating a life of someone that is so real he breathes outloud.. found myself wondering, i think i’ve passed through this station before.. i was so inspired by the photo you offered at one single impression, i thank you… there is nothing like traveling by train, it is heaven… and with delight i peer into the blue sky to consider “mashed potato” clouds…

  22. This story does evoke The Prodigal. I really enjoyed reading it and the end was wonderful.

  23. Your words exemplify the meaning of this journey so well. A journey felt in a variety of ways in the hearts and souls of many, yet the essence can be the same. Coming home has many meanings and many stories. You have shown that here.

    http://www.invitationfrom-gnewvegan.blogspot.com

  24. Excellent prompt! Thanks for that and for the deliciously real and heartfelt story that accompanies the fine photo!

  25. You know something read is good when, several minutes later, you are wondering what happened. Thanks for this, and for the prompt. Karen

  26. Hi Sandy, I guess that’s up to the reader to decide. I hope he did too though. ;)

    Hi Pie, Oh,aren’t you nice. I agree with you, writing is all about breathing life into characters. I hadn’t written a short story of fiction for a long, long time. How encouraging it is to read all these wonderful, positive comments, including yours. Glad you liked the ‘tater’ clouds LOL, we always called them that as kids.

    Hi Pam, Thanks so much!

    Hi Gemma, It is a journey on a number of levels; glad that came through. Thanks dear friend for your kind words.

    Hi Tumblewords, Glad you liked the prompt and my story.

    Hi Karen, Good to hear. Welcome to MPP!

    Thanks so much for your continued support and comments, G

  27. your words speak to me of returning to places after long absenses, feeling an uncertainty about how one will be received & yet being overcome with a need to be home again

  28. ..”while my guitar gently weeps’(george harrison/the beatles)_comes to mind-
    _thanks for a lovely prompt and a gentle story that explores a man’s attachment to his guitar..
    ~a wonderful homecoming..

  29. This is a wonderful response to (and image for) this OSI prompt. I’ve not done mine yet … I keep thinking of High School for some reason and keep hoping for ‘inspiration’ of a different sort ;–)
    Hugs and blessings,

  30. Hi Qualcosa, There is always the (perhaps slight) uncertainty of how our arrival will be received, after a long absence.

    Hi Zoya, Thanks Zoya. A song that I love. Glad this was brought to mind.

    Hi Storyteller, It was a prompt I had thought about for quite some time.
    Loved reading all the takes on my suggestion.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, G

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